The Real Deal

I read the excerpt below recently on one of the numerous social media sites out there and haven’t been able to get the notion out of my head. The depth of meaning behind the word love versus any other perception of this feeling has struck a chord with me. I think most of us who are struggling to find “the one” have grappled with like vs. love and what a true meaningful, life-altering relationship looks and feels like. We have all tried to justify and make excuses for lack of the real thing, and perhaps even invested significant time and energy in trying to make love happen. But this excerpt articulates the truth so simply, I hope it can shed light on your own relationships:

One of my primary missions in life is to understand the dynamics of love. I have observed a big difference between really liking and caring for someone vs. loving them. I have observed people say,”I love you” when they actually may mean, “I like you”. An “I like you” relationship may only inspire a person to spend time and offer themselves to us in ways that are effortless, that don’t create discomfort nor require much psychic, emotional or physical effort. People in these types of relationships often keep up emotional walls that prevent the emotional intimacy that is required for the making of…love. When love is involved, one is inspired to dissolve those walls and make space for the psychic, emotional and physical efforts needed to build the relationship; therefore, forging the capacity required for vulnerability, receptivity and emotional intimacy necessary for establishing fulfilling bonds of love. It’s great to be liked or loved, but it’s our responsibility to know the difference.

It absolutely is our responsibility to know the difference. In the words of the infamous Carrie Bradshaw, “I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” We are only given one life with such a short amount of time on this planet, as part of the greater human experience. It is important to demand from our significant others the real thing. To drop the emotional walls we all create to protect ourselves, our lifestyles, our souls from pain or abandonment and allow ourselves to be open to something that is indeed, life-altering. When love happens, it radiates from every aspect of our being – our eyes, our hearts, our minds, and our souls. With this little time we are given, spend it actively participating in the real deal and demand nothing less.


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